Cassidy Bear

Hey ya groovers, my name is Cassidy Bear.

I am the younger brother of Chester, and companion of Queen Cleo. I like the she-cats, very much. I like to meet as many of them as possible, and since I’ve become older discovered my libido for the very first time.

Mum affectionally calls me “Hugh” – yes as in Hugh Heffner.

About 4 years ago I got diagnosed with Diabetes and have had to take 2 insulin shots a day. Mum is good and careful with administering the injections.

Don’t tell Mum, but I don’t mind the injections because they make me feel years younger, fluffy, handsome and virile. Maybe it works like viagra for cats on me.

I used to lack confidence but since I’ve become older and got my diabetes under control, I feel like I am a she-cat magnet. In fact, I am authoring Secret Cat Business Volume 3: Love and Dating Advice for Cats.

Yours in paws,

Cassidy xoxo

Queen Cleopatra

The world is my catwalk!

— QUEEN CLEOPATRA

Let me introduce myself. My name is Queen Cleopatra. You can call me Cleo for short.

I have a brother called Chester. Chester lives in America now! When I was 6 months and 1 week old, a tortoiseshell / tabby kitten I met Mumsie. I also have a he-cat companion called Cassidy.

Though before I met Mumsie and my family I have now, I had a ginger-tabby-brother called Red. The first 10 weeks of life were hard for me (and my brother, Red).

I am guessing we were born to a she-cat and then she disappeared. Chester said I should call her Hag Features, I like that.

When Hag Features left, someone dumped us at the animal shelter in a box outside the door. They left us unwanted and unloved.  

I hate the animal shelter, it felt like a prison. We were locked in a cage with limited food, water and toilet facilities. It also stunk of poo and was so cold.

Then one night, they took Red from me and left me alone and scared and crying. They didn’t even leave a night light on for me!  

I cried for 26 hours straight as was only a baby – just 10 weeks old. It was the worst time of my life, and I don’t know where my brother went. Did he go to a home, and if so, why didn’t they take me to? Is he alive? 

By morning, I couldn’t even meow anymore because my heart was broken, and I felt so weak from crying and so broken. I felt like I was losing my will to fight and had no one to love me. No one cared. The light felt like it was starting to go out.

Then Mumsie walked in and I thought she is the one. She wore a bright red coat, red stick and smiled at me so bright. Her teeth looked very white. I thought she looks niceshe might make a nice Mumsie! I liked her clothes, jewellery and lipstick and loved that she wore red lipstick.

My heart started to do jumping things that I later found out are excited butterflies. I didn’t really understand that I had not eaten any butterflies or caterpillars so not sure how they got into my tummy! But anyhow…

I thought, ooooooh – maybe I can use Mumsie’s things. We can do Mumsie and Daughter stuff together! I heard her say ‘I’m here to collect Hailey, I saw her on the website’. She hadn’t even met me yet but wanted me – when the ‘damn hag’ did not.

Later, I would learn that Mumsie would love me no matter what. 

The shelter had this photo of me where I looked scrawny, mangy and scraggly and I was called Hailey! Gosh, I hated that name and that photo. Suddenly I felt something I never felt before – HOPE. I just knew I was meant for better things and would manifest a wonderful life. 

I was just 1.2 kilos (2.64 pounds) when I went home, where instantly; I had a two-story castle, fit for a Queen and aptly named Queen Cleopatra.

This is my story, about my life, my family, my journey. I hope you’ll join me on my journey.

Chester the Cat

Author and mastermind of Secret Cat Business

My name is Chester the Cat.  You may be asking yourself: How is it that I can write and type?

Well, the easy answer is that I am gifted and talented to the degree I could make Albert Einstein look stupid. Do I hear you gasp in horror? Well, you get the gist, I am smart.

I am the head of a small covert group of cats who have special powers that only I can unlock. I have superpowers; think of me as a real-life feline superhero if you will. Think of a feline Jason Bourne perhaps. Although, the truth is, I come from a long line of royal blood dating back to the human Queen Cleopatra’s leopard, Arrow.

Would you believe I discovered my powers when I was a mere kitten when sneaking out to Mummy’s garden to chase a bird and instead ate some ‘special’ cat nip that activated my gifts. Gifts, plural!

Among my numerous gifts are a bionic left paw, and the ability to read and write, read minds and impersonate humans. Nifty, hey? It sure does come in handy!

I live in sunny South Australia with Mum and feline brother, Cassidy. I’m nine years old as write this, sitting on my balcony watching humans from my townhouse.

It is imperative that I don’t reveal my exact location because now that I’ve become quite famous in Australia, I don’t want to attract any she-cat stalkers. The price of fame, coupled with being a single and handsome cat can be hard. But my life wasn’t meant to be easy, it was meant to have purpose.

For example, looking after my family is very important to me. And, being proficient at, well, everything—I am writing this book just for you, my extended cat family everywhere. I want to demonstrate that you too can have a successful life in just seven easy steps!

I have so much wisdom, guidance and expertise it almost feels like a burden to keep all that knowledge to myself without passing it on. So I simply must share my teachings with the world.